LORDI – Sexorcism

If you like plodding, predictable songs about hideous things, you might enjoy Sexorcism, the new album from Lordi, their ninth. If casual cruelty without apparent point is your thing, you might find yourself singing along to songs like “The Beast Is Yet To Cum” or “Sodomesticated Animal”, at least until you realize how idiotic these songs are. Which, hopefully, you should realize before the second verse. And if jokey songs about sex with Ol’ Scratch and bestiality aren’t enough to make you want to consign these sorry mp3’s to the hellish abyss of your trash folder, maybe the songs focused on violence against women will so move you—“Naked In My Cellar” and “Slashion Model Girls”, among others. Ask yourself—why do songs like this exist? What purpose do they serve? Is there subtle social commentary layered beneath the gothic trappings, like sweat beneath Mr. Amen’s mask? Is the idea to use the frission shock and outrage creates to show listeners a path through the real horrors the world provides? Is Mr. Lordi merely making a joke? Or is the album really a celebration of evil and stupidity?

That isn’t the first time and won’t be the last time someone asks that question of a Metal album. There are a few good moments on Sexorcism—the spooky lullaby opening of “Polterchrist”, and a handful of decent riffs and rhythms– all wasted in songs that go on for far too long (the album clocks in over an hour!) and don’t amount to much lyrically beyond several sick, unfunny jokes.

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