NOISECULT – One From None

This is probably a review you do NOT want to read to the end if you fall under one of the following categories:

– you have been a Metalhead for at least ten years
– you are 35 or older (or you know a lot of Metal from the Eighties and early Nineties)
– you like different styles as long as they kick ass

This is the type of CD that should come with instructions that go something like this:

Step 1: Order the CD One From None from the band’s website. Don’t worry, it’s good, just do it.

Step 2: Invite your Metal buddies and make each one bring a six pack. No, you should not have a guilty conscience by making them bring the booze … you bought the CD, remember?

Step 3 (it’s safe to skip Step 2a, which is put the beer in the fridge, and Step 2b, which is open one for each of you): Hand out a pen and a piece of paper to everyone. Lazy Metalheads: Do just that. The square type: Write the numbers from 1 through 10 on the left hand side of the paper, and leave some space to the right and below for your friends (and yourself) to write something. Yes, and if you are a real nice guy, you can write “intro” next to the number 1.

Step 4: Everybody sits down. You unseal the CD and put it in the player, sit down yourself, sip your beer while the intro “Awaken” starts the album, and grab your pen.

Now, you can all listen and enjoy the album, and for each track, write down what comes to mind: which band, which album, which song or sound … whatever comes to mind.

When the album is finished, hit play again, and compare notes while finishing the rest of your six packs arguing, reveling in nostalgia, listening to songs over and over again, inserting almost forgotten CDs into your player to find out what made you think of … well, whatever you have written down. An evening of fun is guaranteed!

This is where you should stop reading this review and just do the above, because what follows is going to spoil the fun if you continue.

Noisecult has been together for some time, the main members go back ten years. This is their second album, which is self-produced, but has a reasonable, old-school sound. You will have worse sounding albums in your collection from somewhere between 1984 and 1989. If not, you cannot call what you have a collection. Musically, everything is fine, not extraordinary, but solid and to the point. Drums are a bit simple, but Bo Heyward’s voice is pure Rock, and serves the band’s purposes quite nicely.

The music is best described with one word: Metal. The album intro should put you in the right mood. You will find yourself wondering where you heard those words before: Awaken I have become … your time now slips away . Yes, it is very close to Slayer’s “At Dawn They Sleep.” You can consider that lack of imagination, or you can call it an homage. While you try to decide, the first track lets you begin a journey through 80s Metal. Each and every track is well done, and is a different style of hard music. Every song reminds you of something, some other band, a track, a sound. You cannot always put your finger on it, but it nags in the back of your head. So here is a (very disputable) list of homages paid:

“The Serpent Rises” is pure Thrash, and it hits you where it hurts. This is the melange between early Forbidden, Slayer’s Seasons In The Abyss and Death Angel in their after Frolic Through The Park-era.

“Incinerate” could be late Overkill meeting Black Sabbath.

“No Sanctuary” follows in the wake of Solitude Aeturnus, only the vocals are more Torque or late-90s Cathedral.

“SHEvil” is an under two minutes Motörhead bass riff monster with Scandinavian Dirty Rock elements of the Hellacopters or Gluecifer, plus Danzig on vocals.

“Blood Feast Tonight” is Punk. The British one, not the fun Punk stuff of Blink 182, Green Day, or Offspring, but Bad Religion meets Discharge meets Mace meets GBH. The Punk with a m.f. attitude and a Metal edge!

“Scars” has a ZZ Top beginning that grooves like a monster. Then the vocals set in, and you find that this would be what an Annihilator version of Texas’ most famous beards would sound like.

“Whole” is again back to the early Bay Area, but this time it’s more like mid-tempo Metallica or Exodus with a rougher voice.

“No Slave Am I” has a stop-and-go Punk attitude, with the typical intellectual approach of Henry Rollins. This could easily be on a late Rollins album.

“American Wasteland” is a surprise, even after the stylistic bonanza you will have been through already. Imagine early Mötley Crüe with a dash of NWOBHM — like debut album time Saxon — or Hellanbach, Trespass, and a lot of stuff from early Neat records.

You may not like all of the tracks, but you will at least like some. Can you say this of every album you have bought lately?