GRANDMA MOSES – Too Little, Too Late

UPDATED, see the bottom of the review

If you took The New York Dolls and The Ramones and somehow forced them to procreate, what you’d get is Grandma Moses. From Vancouver, Canada, Grandma Moses delivers a 23-song CD titled Too Little, Too Late, which covers their existence since 1991. Since they lean harder towards The Ramones than the other aforementioned band, this CD rips all the way through.

The fecally titled “Shit” is a good starting point on the CD. Drums pound away at the beginning, and then the guitars jump in accompanied by a “yeah” and a “muh-muh-muh-muh-my!” yell from singer Todd Stevens. Like all their songs, this is catchy, over before you know it, funny, and something that will stick in your brain after it’s over. The chorus of “I don’t take nothing from a fuckin’ dipshit” speaks volumes about the band. It’s basically all sleaze rock, with attitude and a sense of humor.

Before you start thinking all of their songs are about, well, shit, take a look at “Sad Life.” This is an insanely fast punk song, which tells the story about a woman from Mexico who gets involved with a man who “ beat her up, Raped her kids and did her drugs … She kicked him out and slapped his head, 3 weeks late she was dead.”

Of course, they can’t stay serious forever. The next song is called “Mongoloid.” This is another great song, upbeat, rocking, sleazy, but not all that politically correct. Still, they didn’t call it “Dumb Retard,” so that’s something …

One of the most surprising songs is called “Death to the ‘60s.” The bass line intro is cool, and the riffing is strong and clear, but the lyrics are almost shibboleths. They decry many of the classic bands and fathers of rock ‘n roll, like Led Zeppelin, The Doors and Cream. In fact, the lyrics go “I wish that I was born in 1967, So, I could see all those sixties rejects go to heaven.” Of course, anti-establishment is what punk rock is all about, and they embrace that wholeheartedly here. “If I hear it one more time, I think I’ll lose my mind.” All in all, maybe the best song on this CD, and there are a lot of good ones.

When they do slow it down, like with the song “Urchin,” they still excel. There is real emotion in the musicianship, lyrics and vocal delivery. This is the kind of song that makes one wonder why in Green Hell they aren’t much bigger than they are right now …

With 23 songs on this CD, it’s hard to pick out all the good ones. A couple others that jump to mind are “Dismal Jimmy,” a slower, groove-laden song that picks up and erupts, only to slow down again; “Pills,” a noisy, thumping tune derived directly from The Ramones; and “Digging for Gold,” probably their most pop sounding song on the CD.

And for those too lazy to read this review and just want to know the upshot: buy the damn CD. You won’t be disappointed.

(Since this review was posted, here’s some fan feedback: “I don’t think you’re qualified to review this style of music because of the sheer fact that you don’t even know the song “Pills” (is) By the New York Dolls! There is no excuse That’s just plain unacceptable!” So there ya have it; “Pills” sounds exactly like The Ramones but is actually a New York Dolls song.)

(The saga continues … the band contacted me to set us all straight on the song “Pills.”

Although the song Pills was covered by the NY Dolls, it was actually originally written and recorded by Elias McDaniel, AKA Bo Diddley. So the person’s comment is only partially correct.

Cheers,

Sandy Hazard
Grandma Moses)