PRETTY BOY FLOYD – Vault II

After apparently making a little bit of money from the greatest hits compilation Vault, Pretty Boy Floyd and Perris Records release the conveniently named Vault II. As the press release states, this album consists of previously unreleased tracks and alternate versions “never heard by any PBF glam fan before.” As the album painfully unfolds, there’s a reason for that.

The first song, “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me,” is a mangled cover of Billy Joel’s hit. And that’s the high point of the record. “When You Need a Friend” is some sort of ballad that starts: “Tonight, two became one”. Good Lord. And it doesn’t get better. The next several songs; “No Respect For the Law,” “Wild Rule The Night,” “We’ve Got Rock ‘n’Roll,” “Sweet Lil Dancer,” and “Saturday Night In The USA” all run in the same lyrical vein: we’re tough, let’s get drunk and party, all the while listening to our rock ‘n’roll really really loud. That sentiment is just fine, if the songs are good. These aren’t.

Another thing is that the sound production of the album must have been overseen by monkeys. The sound is the worst I’ve ever heard on any compact disc, demo or not. I had to check to make sure I wasn’t listening to my sister’s 8-track with 4-watt bookshelf speakers. It sounds like no work was done at all to try to clean up the sound for release.

The monkeys must have gotten into the pencil and paper, too, because the lyrics for “Take You For a Ride” and “Shut Up” are flat-out bizarre. For example, from “Take You”: “New York City NYC/always been real good to me … FBI and CIA/chasing me but that’s OK”. And from “Shut Up”: “uh uh uh oh uh oh oh shut up … Around the block and back/you’ve got a death threat in your bed/drownding [sic] in a swirling sea/your fake friends/Sent on a paisley trip/you’ve got a check in your baggage/delusionary consciousness/how’d it ever get you this/[unintelligible] masturbation”. At least I think that’s what it says. I listened several times; I’m open to any other suggestions. “We’re A Happy Family” is a Ramones cover, so of course the lyrical hijinks march on: “Sitting here in New York Queens/eating all those refried beans/reading dirty magazines/gulping down the Thorazines.” Then, a brief guitar solo of the theme song from the 60’s TV series “Batman”. “Shut Up” and “Happy Family” do have good beats and some good guitars, so they have that going for them.

There’s three other songs on the album, but they are in line with the rest of the album, and I’m tired. Despite best efforts to find something worthwhile, I just couldn’t do it. I apologize for being so negative, but there is so little redeeming value from this album, it’s a wonder how it got thrown together in the first place.